Monday, 6 May 2013

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid

If I have learnt anything in the last 31 years it is this;
You will find exactly what you need, when you are not looking for it.
The things that elude you do so for a reason, you are not ready yet.
The people that come into your world
are either a blessing or a lesson.
And are sent to make you stronger.

Had you asked me 12 months ago, I would have told you I didn't believe in love.
Well I mean, I believe in love; I love my kids and my family and my friends.
What I mean is that knock your socks off, I am eternally blessed to have you in my life,
you are "the one" love.
That just doesn't happen.

Yeah I am a cynic and a non-believer, it seems terribly sad doesn't it?
It's OK, I'm not sad about it, I just make adjustments to my life accordingly.
For example; I was so disheartened with the concept of true love,
I even stopped photographing weddings.
I could not tolerate the happiness.
The brides with all their gushiness and their voluminous white dresses and perfect hair
and grooms in their crisp suits and cufflinks,  looking longingly into their brides misty eyes - gak.

But something happened to me.

I am changing.
I hear the music, as parts and a whole, he taught me that.
I smell, lavender, sesame oil and damp earth, from sitting still beside him.
I see my faith and beliefs expanding, through deep conversations with him.
I feel contentment and joy, because he shares them with me.
I taste the delicate flavours in the meals that we share, because he sits across the table.

I believe again.

And it is beautiful.

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